hey teacher lady

If you take it, you won't be able to go tango dancing for like two months.

You don't even know how much they're going to pay you.

You've never taught kids before. You don't even really think you like the little ones, and you're afraid of middle-schoolers.

If you take this job, you won't be able to go anywhere during your spring break.

There's no curriculum in place and you don't know what you're doing.

"I'll take it."

For the past four weeks I've been teaching K-8 at a private school. I was recommended by a friend of mine who is both a graduate of the school and a parent of one of its kindergardeners (who makes a point of mentioning loudly, each time I walk into her classroom on Tuesdays and Thursdays, "I've known you for a long time, right?!" which gives her a certain celebrity status, knowing a teacher). At first I was reluctant to accept the position, feeling I had no qualifications to teach these kids. I'd never taught children before. I'm one of those stodgy academic types. I wasn't sure if I could connect with them. After just one month, though, I'm hooked.

I had thought that middle school would be the easiest for me; they were a little closer, cognitively, to the college students I teach than, say, the first-graders. Instead, they're my next-to-toughest crowd. I hadn't accounted for the social-hormonal component of teaching 5th through 8th grades. Everything is painfully embarrassing and there is a subtext to absolutely everything they say, which you must tap into in order to stay in touch and in charge. After only 40 minutes with them, I am exhausted every time.

3rd and 4th grades have been unexpectedly delightful. They unabashedly love learning and absorb everything I give them. Whenever I ask a question they're so eager to participate and please that they shoot their hands in the air and wave them around, gasping and moaning, even when they don't know the answer. Unlike every other human being on the planet, they love being put on the spot and being the center of attention, even in another language.

1st and 2nd grades are all about classroom behavior and interaction. Hold still, turn around in your seat, hands to yourself, raise your hand if you want to ask a question or answer one. There is a very delicate balance to be struck here between academic content, playful silliness, and pure regimented smack-down. I'm grateful to Jenece, a 2nd-grader who radiates attitude and handles the smack-down almost single-handedly.

Kindergarden is the hardest for me. I'm just not a very sing-songy person, and getting them to follow any instructions at all while imparting content is a little like trying to drive an 18-wheeler and cook an omelette at the same time.

But I love it, all of it. I love it when the homeroom teachers tell me how amazed they are about the progress the kids are making. I love it when the little ones see me in the hallway and hug me. I love how surprised they were when I turned up for the school play.

At the play I bumped into one of my former regular customers at the deli. It turns out his daughter is one of my charges a couple of times a week. I was overjoyed to see him, and when an acquaintance of his asked if I was his wife, he laughed and said I was his other wife, to which I replied, well, sort of. I make him sandwiches and look after his kid. He asked about school and was so sincerely delighted to hear I was getting ready to graduate that I was a little taken aback.

It's good I had this experience. Now I feel like I can teach -- and reach -- anyone. And it's good I had this experience in Kalamazoo, because I feel like I have become a real person who influences lives in this community, in the eyes of real people like my customer (who influences quite a few lives in this community himself, by the way), instead of just hanging out serving yummy sandwiches. It was important, redeeming, somehow, to have that happen here. I never anticipated that would be important, but it was, unspeakably so.

It's hard not to make long-term plans for my pequeños monstruos. In this short time I've grown so much more attached to them than I ever get to my co-eds. There's so much I'd like to do with them, but I've only got a couple weeks left. I'd stay if they'd let me, and if I had the time for it. While I'm not looking forward to the hand-off to their regular teacher, I can't believe how much this brief experience has transformed me and I'm so, so glad I listened to my heart and took the job.