If my wish was to be a full-time writer, that is. My jobby-job seems to have evaporated while I was in foreign lands, so I've decided to dedicate 40 hours a week to writing my thesis. Friday was my first day and I overslept, then left off early...nonetheless, I made more solid progress than at any time in the last few months, so I think this might work.
I'm not sure how I'll eat in the meantime, but that's such a mundane concern that I prefer not to think about it for now. I did get approved for my first (and hopefully last) round of student loans for this fall, which is also unfamiliar territory for me.
In fact everything's a bit terrifying: the notion of not working for the first time in my adult life, the notion of writing a book, the self-discipline it will take to finish that task, accepting debt that I have no immediate, concrete method of paying back...
I guess it's in order to cope with my panic surrounding all this that I've begun to think of it all in terms of there's this girl I've hired to write my thesis for me. She seems competent enough, and I think she'll eventually get it done to my satisfaction. It's a financial risk I'm taking, and I've had to take out a loan to pay her a living wage and secure her some benefits, but I think it's worth it. If she comes through, the professional rewards I'll reap will be well worth the expense.
Meanwhile, this girl has hired me to write her thesis. I know she's not in the greatest of circumstances right now to be paying someone to do this, but I need the work and she's taking a chance on me, so I'm determined not to let her down. The money isn't the greatest but it's understandable why she can't pay me more, and the intellectual experience will be good for me.
Yeah, I reckon we'll make it through.
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