proot

So I have a hard time, sometimes, when I'm trying to get into my own blog. It seems like every time there's something else I have to do to log in. Every time I think, okay, I'm going to remember exactly how I did this this time so that next time I don't have the same problem, then the next time I come back and try to do exactly the same thing, and then I'm like was I shooting up the last time I did this?

The computer goes: okay, gimme your user name. So I go, splitsville. Then it goes, okay, what's your password. And I go, **********. And it goes, no, that's not it. And I go, well, yeah it is, actually.

Then the computer goes, yeah, I'm gonna need you to spell this word I wrote all funny, to prove you're a human being. And it goes "proot." So I write p-r-o-o-t and it's all like, nope, nope, that's just not what I meant at all.

So I request e-mail assistance, and it says it sent me a message but really it didn't. So I try again. This time it says, spell "cytomman." I have no idea what it's saying to me, or why we're having this spelling contest when all I want to do is jump on here and navel-gaze for a minute, but I spell c-y-t-o-m-m-a-n, mostly because I am getting a big kick out of trying to come up with some clever definition for "proot" and can't wait to find out what other nonsense words the computer has for me. Bring it on, computer, I say. I can spell all day.

Taboy, it says. Merweam ingroph ennin. Audandup.

I'm not kidding, that's how many times I tried to log on before I finally remembered that, last time this happened ("repfa," said the computer on that occasion) all I had to do was do exactly what I remembered I was not supposed to do, and that, as usual in this life, that would produce the effect I had intended. So now here I am and I forgot what I came here to talk about, but I'm sure it was very profound and might even have changed your life.